A report card is like...
-waiting for a shot
-your head is getting stabbed
-getting an old fashioned grandma butt whoopin
-like a death penalty
-betting everything you have on Jeopardy
The texture of oatmeal is like...
...a bowl of wet beads.
An announcement that school is cancelled is like...
your hole boddy is getting showered in joy and you got electraquted with happyness
The sound of the alarm clock in the morning is like...
the devil screaming
The shimmer of a brand-new pair of shoes...
looks better than a new born baby.
-It's like getting a new TV that you can wear.
The taste of a po-boy is like...
taking a five second trip to heaven.
A pair of old gym sneakers...
-smells like a skunk mixed with old moth balls.
-smells like somebody's grandma's breath in the morning
An old lady's skin is like...
-smooth silk that just came out of a warm dryer.
-wrinkled like a dried up orange.
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